Selfish Fiancé Chooses Family Vacation Over Pregnant Partner Days Before Due Date

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 5, 2023 6:00 PM EST

Having a child with someone should be an "all in this together" type of moment, but unfortunately, that isn't always the case. It takes two to make a baby, but since it's only growing in one of your bodies, priorities can get a little blurry. Being pregnant is a physical odyssey. Your body changes, your medical needs heighten, and you become more dependent on those around you. It takes a village, and that starts well before the baby is born. You need someone there to bring you your pickles and peanut butter, not to mention take you to the hospital when the time comes. 

A Redditor recently shared a story that inflamed commenters on her behalf, of her fiancé planning to abandon her in her time of highest need. Christmas traditions are important, but some things surely take precedence. Read the full story and reactions below. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Prize-Ad3917 • 10h AITA for asking my fiance to skip this year's Christmas family vacation because our baby is due?
    via u/Prize-Ad3917
  • 02
    Context: I have gone to Florida with his family for the past 5 years for at least part of Christmas. Every other year, I returned before him to spend Christmas day with my family. This year is the first time in a long time that all the other siblings are able to overlap dates. My fiance has major FOMO, which is why this is a sensitive subject. His parents have always been weird about keeping their family close. They've never said it outright but little things suggest they don't consider me compl
    via u/Prize-Ad3917
  • 03
    My fiance and I (31M and 31F) are expecting our first baby due December 30th. His family has a vacation home in Florida and they have gone every year during the holidays for about a month until after New Year. He agreed not to go this year because of the baby but his family is insisting that he go and come back on the 28th which is "ample time before the baby is due". So he bought a ticket for December 15th-28th. His reasoning is that his parents really want him there and his siblings will also
    via u/Prize-Ad3917
  • 04
    This is bothering me alot more than I thought because I know pregnancies are unpredictable, especially in the last trimester and if anything happens leading up to the due date, I need him there. My parents are away until December 26th and my friends have their families so I will be completely alone. The other reason... and I guess it's more selfish, is that I will be spending Christmas by myself. It's not the main reason why I'm bothered but it's a small part of it. He's been spending Christmas
    via u/Prize-Ad3917
  • 05
    Good Representative33 · 9h Partassipant [2] NTA- Your husband is a fool if he goes. This is your first baby, you do not know if the baby will be here early, on time or late. His family is you and the baby. If his family can't see that, that another issue. None of them have a crystal ball and know when that baby is coming. Personally, I would also be pointing out how quickly things can go wrong for Mum or bubs during labour. I am actually disgusted with him for thinking this is okay to leave his
    via u/GoodRepresentative33
  • 06
    The_Bad_Agent • 9h Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] Your husband is a fool Thankfully, it's her fiance. No paperwork involved yet. I'd be looking for a lawyer to handle child support and a parenting arrangement. I'm sure she can make a few calls while he's away.
    via u/The_Bad_Agent
  • 07
    haleorshine • 8h Hate to be all Reddit about this, but this would be a reason for me to dump him immediately. He's going to leave his heavily pregnant partner alone at Christmas because his family really wants him to be at their yearly holiday? He's such an Ah, and a terrible partner and father to boot, for even suggesting this, let alone fighting her on this. He's going to be hard to co-parent with, but maybe he won't even fight for custody?
    via u/haleorshine
  • 08
    loverlyone 9h Pooperintendant [69] Are you kidding me? They are all leaving a pregnant woman alone...on the holidays...at the absolute end of her pregnancy??? This is not appropriate behavior for your FIANCÉ. Your PARTNER. The father of this child. FFS ΝΤΑ ETA: OMG I'm so ticked off for you. This is not loving, caring behavior.
    via u/loverlyone
  • 09
    Ok-Sir36459h I couldn't agree more ! OP's fiancé is selfish and so is his family! I can't believe anyone would think this behaviour is appropriate. Leaving your super pregnant wife at home over Christmas ?! WTF! NTA- but they are BIG time !
    via u/Ok-Sir3645
  • 10
    loverlyone 9h Pooperintendant [69] ● At the end of my pregnancy I couldn't tie my own shoes or get out of bed without assistance. Plus she's in the one visit a week phase of her pregnancy. So many things require assistance, particularly if she goes into labor. She really shouldn't be alone. The obstetrician should be emphasizing that. How could he leave her?
    via u/loverlyone
  • 11
    AngelofSol80 - 9h Partassipant [1] NTA. He is showing you where his priorities lie, and sadly they are not with you. Believe him. Right now he should be putting you and his unborn child well before his parents. While his parents have always been kind look at what they are doing now with insisting he come. You are not his priority, nor are they looking out for your health and well being as you carry their grandchild. Make your plans now on how you will get to the hospital/birthing center if the b
    via u/AngelofSol80
  • 12
    TheCotof Pika • 8h Yes, and baby is full term from 9th December to 13th January! The due date is arbitrary. Op you are right to be I, he's away from AFTER your child is full term! I'd be annoyed but would understand if he went before 37 weeks but after that he is being a selfish as are his family who care more about the same holiday they've taken for more than a decade over you and the baby. Totally NTA.
    via u/TheCotofPika
  • 13
    thegroovyplug • 7h He has FOMO regarding his yearly family holiday but not the birth of his 1st child.
    via u/thegroovyplug
  • 14
    TheCotof Pika . 7h I wouldn't bloody tell him I'd gone into labour. I'd do it and just not mention baby until he returns. Wouldn't want to spoil his holiday by getting him to rush back which would be futile as he's so far away. Edit: My husband was nervous to even leave for a drink with his friend a 10 minute walk away in the last few weeks. I had to push him out the door!
    via u/TheCotofPika
  • 15
    Lilly Lovegood82 • 9h Come on now. I know you don't actually think you're the crazy one. Please tell your friends and mother this and see what they have to say. Also your MIL is asking her son to be away from his very pregnant wife. Ask your MIL about her births and tell her you're scared of being alone see what she says. Then you will have a better understanding of how "kind" they are. If she brushes your fears aside. You don't want your baby around that family, if she tells you she didn't ask
    via u/LillyLovegood82
  • 16
    No_Trifle4817 • 9h Partassipant [1] My friend's husband went out of town 2 weeks before their baby was born and she went into labor while he was gone. He raced to the airport and got on the soonest flight possible and missed the birth. Thankfully her family lives in town and was with her. Due dates are just an approximation of when baby will come. Being out of town until 2 days before the due date is idiotic. NTA at all and you aren't wrong for feeling sad that you are being left alone on Christ
    via u/No_Trifle4817
  • 17
    jasperjamboree • 9h Enthusiast [7] Your fiancé is putting his personal happiness as a priority over you and your baby. This is what he's going to continue to do for years to come, despite you and your baby becoming his primary family because he will always put his parents first. This man is not ready to raise a child because he's still acting like a one with how dependent he is on mommy and daddy. He's not husband material either. NTA
    via u/jasperjamboree
  • 18
    Spiritual_Basil7665.9h Only a complete would do this. He is not ready to be either a father or a husband. You not bringing it up anymore means he has won in wearing you down. I would be extremely clear that you do not appreciate being abandoned for Christmas and for your final days before birth, a time when he should be catering to you, not his family. I would also be clear that you will not be answering any texts or calls while he's gone because he doesn't deserve any information. Then make a p
    via u/Spiritual_Basil7665
  • 19
    The_Bad_Agent .9h Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] NTA but if he can't put his future spouse as his priority over his parents, he isn't ready to leave them. And this is huge. Anything can happen, and he's ok leaving his pregnant partner alone that is close to the due date. On Christmas no less. Learn from this. If he's ditching you while heavily pregnant on Christmas because his parents are his priority, he isn't husband material.
    via u/The_Bad_Agent
  • 20
    BatpigMama 9h Partassipant [1] ● DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN. Use the time he's gone to get a lawyer, get custody & child support and probably a place to live in a row. You & your kid WILL ALWAYS play second fiddle to his parents wants/ needs. He will go against anything you wish to appease his parents. • NTA
    via u/BatpigMama
  • 21
    cdsmith 9h Partassipant [4] ΝΤΑ Yeah, he ought to know that you don't plan to be out of town until the 28th before a baby that's due on the 30th. That's ridiculous. Even if it weren't for the possibility that the baby will be born during the travel (and that IS a definite possibility), these are some of the most physically difficult days of your pregnancy, and he's... what? Putting you on a plane? Taking off and leaving you by yourself? None of this is a good ideas, and I'm surprised his family
    via u/cdsmith
  • 22
    Apprehensive-Guess42 • 9h I'm a therapist. I had this exact same situation occur with a client. You're absolutely not the It's a ridiculous and selfish reason not to be with your partner during a time when they need you more than ever.
    via u/Apprehensive-Guess42
  • 23
    **Wow, I wasn't expecting this many responses and I can't personally thank all of you but THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH All your support and responses mean alot and I definitely plan on showing this thread to him.
    via u/Prize-Ad3917

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aita pregnancy comments mother fatherhood reddit story am i the asshole parenting pregnant reddit thread Reddit reddit discourse discourse Father Parenting FAILS
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